Wow. Whiskers. And White, even. Little does Amazon know, I'm a girl, and I'm not very old yet. I've not yet begun to grow my whiskers. When I'm old enough, I shall wear them proudly. But for now, I stand insulted.

I Do Declare!

I, Tia, do henceforth decree that all who hear my plea shall FOREVER guffaw at the hilarity of Amazon Payphrases!

My Physicality is Substantial

Because substance can be something other than physical.

Obviously...

I'm convinced, now, that Amazon knows me personally. After 5 or 6 years of purchasing items from them regularly (I love not paying sales tax AND getting free shipping... ), they truly understand me and my ENERGETIC ability to TWIST.

Now They've Got It!

Today I'm working... and working... and working. Then maybe I'll work some more. Then I'll just do a little more work. Perhaps you'd like me to work?

That's More Like It!

Now they have noticed how intellectual I am and that I'm the driving force. Hmmm... how long will this last, I wonder?

The Must Know...

Amazon must have seen my page, because they've started trying to flatter me. And after all, I am very elegant... one would love a portrait of me, right?